


Breakfast by a vampire

by embeer2004



Series: A vampire, his blood-brother and his witcher [8]
Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, Wiedźmin | The Witcher Series - Andrzej Sapkowski
Genre: Breakfast, Concussed witcher, Friendship, Gen, Humor, Patient vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-20
Updated: 2018-12-20
Packaged: 2019-09-23 03:24:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17072600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/embeer2004/pseuds/embeer2004
Summary: Geralt comes to the conclusion that his two vampire comrades can’t cook a decent meal to save their lives and is determined to change that.(set during  Journey to Kaer Morhen, can be read on its own)





	Breakfast by a vampire

**Author's Note:**

> Note: This ficlet happens during Journey to Kaer Morhen, but the relevant details for this story can be summed up as:  
> \- Geralt got concussed  
> \- Regis and Dettlaff, travelling with him at the time, are taking care of him - this includes feeding the man  
> \- As a result of the concussion Geralt’s perception of smell and taste is affected, everything’s bitter  
> \- Geralt’s conclusion: the poor vampires can’t cook to save their lives
> 
> I dedicate this fic to Fluen, who really wanted to see this situation brought to life.

Geralt slowly opened his eyes, staring up at a fuzzy darkness. When his eyes finally focused he saw a familiar ceiling. _Kaer Morhen._ He turned his head and immediately froze when he tried, his breath catching in his throat. Memories quickly returned to his mind: forktails, Regis and… Dettlaff?  
  
There was a rumbling of metal some distance away, coming from the kitchen.  
  
His stomach rumbled. Swallowing, Geralt clenched the blanket covering him. He _was_ hungry, but… he also remembered Regis and Dettlaff’s cooking. He _really_ didn’t want to experience that again. Vampires did have taste buds, right? They must have, Regis was always going on and on about the subtle flavours of his mandrake hooch. But his friend was still so thin, he must not be eating much and perhaps that was because neither Dettlaff nor Regis had ever learnt how to cook _tasty_ food?  
  
“Regis,” Geralt murmured softly. He pushed the blanket down. He wanted his friend _here_ , right now. This was important. Regis was sure to hear him calling, wasn’t he, vampire’s senses were even better than a witcher’s! “Regis?” He really didn’t feel like raising his voice, his head felt like it would split in two at the slightest provocation. “Regis… Regis… Regishhhhh…”  
  
He tried to get his arms under him, but he already had too much trouble lifting his head. This wouldn’t work. But he had to help Regis! Breathing in deeply, Geralt was ready to try again when the sound of soft footsteps reached his ears. _Finally!_  
  
“Geralt?” Regis knelt next to his bed; his dark eyes were gleaming with some emotion. “How are you feeling this morning, my friend?”  
  
Geralt frowned. If it was morning, then that meant… “Breakfast.”  
  
Regis’ eyebrows nearly disappeared into his hairline (Geralt was impressed) before the vampire narrowed his gaze and placed a cool hand on his forehead. Those dark eyes came close to his own and seemed to bore into his soul.    
  
He closed his eyes, enjoying the feel of the cool hand, and felt himself humming quietly before he remembered. Forcing his eyes open again he willed his friend to understand the severity of the matter in question. “Breakfast… Regis!” The words felt round in his mouth, not square, and it was annoying.  
  
The cool hand disappeared. “Dettlaff has just started breakfast preparations, just-”  
  
“No! Nonono Regishhhhh!” He grabbed Regis’ wrist before the vampire could step away from the bed. “You two… _don’t_ cook! Stopit now! Still… time!”  
  
Regis’ free hand settled over his own and he ducked his head, a frown marring his face. He looked – confused? “Geralt, please calm down. For what is there still time?”  
  
“I’m a witcher,” Geralt started, “can help.”  
  
A thumb started stroking the back of his hand. “I’m sure this makes perfect sense in your mind right now, dear Geralt, but I’m afraid that this foolish old vampire needs a bit more of an explanation.”  
  
Geralt narrowed his eyes at his friend. “I am…” he spoke slowly, lifting the hand not holding onto Regis and pointing at himself, “a _witcher_.”  
  
Regis nodded. Good, his friend was keeping up with him this time.  
  
“Make potions,” Geralt continued, “follow rep- res- re-”  
  
“Recipes?” Regis suggested, his expression lighting up. Smart man.  
  
“You ‘n ‘laff,” he pressed his finger against Regis’ sternum, “ _suck_.” There, he told him. The harsh truth, but it’s not like he didn’t know already. How could he not know? “Me… _witcher_ ,” he reminded Regis one more time, just to be certain, “ _very good_.”  
  
Dark eyes rolled upwards and the vampire shrugged his shoulders, but he didn’t interrupt. Very good, he would make an excellent student. Patient, attentive… he could work with this one.  
  
“Gonna help… show you,” he finished, watching for Regis’ reaction.  
  
A crooked smile appeared on the vampire’s face. “So if I understand correctly you want to teach us how to – cook?”  
  
A very, very, fine student. Pleased, Geralt released his hold and held out his hands. “Help me up? Show you _now_ …”  
  
“Uhm, Geralt, I would be glad for you to show us, but perhaps that’s better saved for a later time? After all, you’re not well and you really shouldn’t be up yet. Dettlaff and I can-”  
  
“No! No no no! Can’t… must – _now!_ ” He shook his head, wincing at the feeling of knives suddenly stabbing through his neck and his eyes spinning in circles. He really didn’t feel up to forcing himself to eat their bitter cooking again but he was so hungry. His diaphragm spasmed and a weird sound escaped his throat. “Regis, please?”  
  
A hand had appeared at his shoulder, another cradled his cheek, both steadying and comforting. “All right, all right, Geralt. Calm now… calm, dear friend. I’ll grant you your wish. I shall take you into the kitchen and you can teach Dettlaff and I your dish of choice for breakfast.”  
  
He breathed in deeply, relieved. He would be able to _eat_. Regis would learn to make something tasty. Geralt realised his friend would need to learn more than just one dish, but it would be a start at least. He would just need to keep on coaching him in the future. “Thanks Regis.”  
  
“No thanks necessary, Geralt. Just let me do all the work now, you focus on staying calm and relaxed.” The vampire carefully lifted him up and wrapped the blanket tightly around him before lifting him into his arms.  
  
When they arrived at the kitchen, Dettlaff had apparently aligned what appeared to be ingredients for an omelette. That wasn’t a bad starting point at all.  
  
The young vampire looked up, his blue gaze flitting over to Regis before settling on himself. “Good morning, Geralt.”  
  
“Morning, ‘laff.” Regis carefully sat him down at the counter, where he could have a good overview of the entire kitchen.  
  
Regis fussed for a little while longer, making sure that his leg was positioned _just right_ and that his back and neck were sufficiently supported. “Geralt has offered to teach us how to make breakfast.”  
  
“So I’ve heard. Geralt, you cannot do any of the work in your current state; what do you propose?” Dettlaff walked up to him and crouched down, cocking his head… waiting.  
  
Geralt blinked. Dettlaff was right; he was already feeling tired. Him handling sharp knives and hot stoves was not a good idea. Okay. Then he’d just have to talk them through it, step by step. Ask them to show the doses before mixing anything and trusting them afterwards to time it _just right_.  
  
“Regis… you do it. ‘laff watch.” He decided. “Just follow… steps.”  
  
“As you wish,” Regis lightly squeezed his shoulder, “Dettlaff, if you would just change positions with me?”  
  
The two vampires quickly changed places. Very well.  
  
Geralt guided Regis through all the steps. Wash the mushrooms, but not too long! Show that you’ve indeed got the right amount of pepper you’re going to add. Slice the onions and fruit them, then add the mushrooms and pepper. _Now_ break the eggs into a bowl and stir clock-wise only. Mix in the onions and the peppered mushrooms and bring it back to the pan. Cook until firm. Serve.  
  
As Regis settled himself on the bench across from them and placed the steaming dishes on the counter, Geralt felt a short burst of _something_. This was it; the moment of truth. There was no possibility that Regis could have messed up the dish and the omelette looked like an actual omelette, though Regis had already cut his into smaller pieces, but it _should_ be fine.  
  
With a shaky hand he lifted a fork and captured one of the egg pieces. As the first bite passed his lips he breathed out and closed his eyes. “Hmm… nice Regis. Good student.”  
  
Did he just imagine the soft growl behind him? Dettlaff was still supporting him so he couldn’t twist around to check.  
  
“Hush, Dettlaff.” Regis lifted an eyebrow at his younger companion before turning back to his own food. “This is a good thing. He’s recovered his sense of taste and smell. He’s healing.”  
  
Geralt frowned. Regis kept talking about his senses. His senses were fine, this omelette proved it. It was their cooking that was messed up!  
  
After breakfast, with a sated belly, a rush of exhaustion overwhelmed him. It _had_ taken an inordinate amount of effort to guide Regis to his first edible dish.  
  
All of a sudden there was a light hand on his shoulder and he opened his eyes, only now noticing they’d closed of their own accord.  
  
Regis stood next to him, a merry twinkle in his eyes. “I think, my friend, that you’ve had enough excitement for today. Let’s get you back to bed.” Not waiting for an answer, the vampire carefully took him back from Dettlaff and walked him over to his bed.  
  
Geralt blinked tiredly. His belly was full and the fire near the bed was doing well to warm up the area. This felt nice. “Sleep now, ’gis,” he murmured softly.  
  
“Peaceful dreams, Geralt,” Regis replied. The fond smile on the vampire’s face was the last thing he saw before his eyes slipped closed. He felt the blanket being pulled up to his shoulders and a brief cool touch to his forehead before drifting off into sleep. “Sweet dreams…”  
  
**The end**

**Author's Note:**

> There’s a small nod to the disabled Kaer Morhen scene (Don’t know what it is? Look it up, it’s sweet!). Quite funny, boiling eggs is apparently more difficult for our dear witcher. 3min10 seconds from cold water, it's not that hard ;)


End file.
